I never imagined how full my heart could be. I now have three amazing people in my life who each bring happiness, comfort, companionship, and so much more. Two have been a part of my life nearly 18 months now; the third is quite new — we connected the night I turned 48, a birthday surprise — and we are still shifting to find the balance point. Each of these amazing people have other connections which further enrich and complicate our lives; polyamory involves a lot of balancing.
I feel like I am bubbling over with emotion these days. I long ago eclipsed “happy” — double plus good, perhaps. These emotions are force-feeding my muse; I haven’t written this many words in a long time, but I cannot hold them back. They spill out as fiction, poetry, and self-reflective posts, like this one. They have found their way into erotic collaborations of haiku and stories yet to be published.
I’m getting into better habits at night, a more regular bedtime and returning to regular reading. I fall asleep smiling, and awake refreshed. Knitting has made a comeback too. Little annoyances bounce off me more easily. My anxieties have diminished greatly. Grief is still there, just below the surface, and from time to time, tears flow, but it is easier to manage each day.
And, as if these three were not enough, I find I am surrounded on all sides by friends and family and more love and kindness. I’m facing life with open arms and an open mind to what the universe is ready to deliver — even when it is a collision course with another person that takes everyone by surprise. I feel like I belong, right here, right now, and am finally whole again. Thank you, universe. ((hugs))